The deep thoughts that fill my mind

Free moments have been sparse the last couple of weeks and my desire to get back to regular blogging took a backseat to one sweet, newfound skill of crawling, TWO! new and very sharp little teeth and a nasty cold that has been lingering a bit too long in our home.

My mind however, has been working overtime. Mainly consumed with these two unrelated thoughts…

1. Why are area rugs SO EXPENSIVE?!

I thought they were in the $160-300 range and BOY was I wrong. I have been saving my pennies (which is hard to do with no job or maternity leave) and I am roughly $400 short for a decent 7×10 Rug. And myohmy am I tired of hovering over a curious, but unstable babe that needs to pull himself up on everything (ottoman, windowsill, breadmaker…) to see what is on top.

2. When can I get some more Barbecue… 

When I got pregnant I started eating chicken again. When babe was born I ate whatever I had time to put into my belly- and if that meant red meat (and more iron for me and Baby J) I was okay with it. Fast forward 6 months and I CAN’T GET ENOUGH. I am not ashamed to admit that a great portion of my waking hours is spent scheming ways to convince Dan we should go get some BBQ. At one time he would have LOVED this opportunity and new found passion of mine. However, the last time he ate BBQ was at the hospital the night before our son was born. Such memory causes him to declare “the entire room– no! the entire HOSPITAL smelled like BBQ pulled pork…alllll night. I can’t do it…”

I may stand alone. But Momma wants an area rug and a half rack of ribs. 

 

 

 

Experiencing deeper surrender

The last time I truly posted here was when I recapped our honeymoon. Long sweet summer days by the lake in Northern Michigan. Following that, I qrote a couple quick posts- mostly because I was too busy trying to process the abundant changes in my life.

A lot has transpired since then, most of it changing me more into the woman I actually want to be. By accident.

In the middle of that dreadful October last year I found myself pregnant. We were newlyweds, living in my husband/ his brother’s unselling house in a city I didn’t like, my brother-in-law wanted us OUT of the house and we had no where else to live. Obviously a poisonous environment to start a marriage in, but we had no choice. We had one income and I was driving upwards of 6 hours a week to get to an unpaid internship that was robbing my joy daily. And then morning sickness started as soon as we were about to have a baby we were unpreparred for.

LORD is this truly what you want?

Dan took the news a lot better than I did. We were on a mini “weekend” getaway when we found out and I had put off taking the pregnancy test for a few days as I knew what I could expect and wasn’t ready to surrender my coffee addiction- or my life. Dan cheered, I cried.

Not the way I would have wanted this joyous experience to be imprinted in my memory.But that is real life.

Fears flooded my mind as I recalled the many (UNhelpful) cautions from older women of “don’t get pregnant right away, settle in and learn to be a couple first…. ” as well as all of my counselling training that explained how important it is for newlyweds to experience a “coupling” stage of life before welcoming children into their lives. There were also many other realities …no place to live, I was still in school, we were still learning how to be married, we couldnt afford a babe…we had PLANS.

I was about to learn what surrender meant- all over again.

In heindsight I would have liked to have my internal processes documented – whether in blog form or just my journal. I would have liked to look back at God’s providence and praised Him even more for the way that in ALL THINGS He works for the good of those who love Him (Ro. 8:28). Instead, I spent my days seeking God for His guidance through the stormy waters of life.

So, I am going to work backward…. bring myself up to date. And you are welcome to come along.

(Mostly*) Clean Enchiladas

Last night husband declared dinner the best thing he has eaten in months. MONTHS!

A few bites later he said it was possibly the meals he has ever eaten… EVER?!

At the end of his 4^th, he had determined that it was- in fact- the best thing he had ever eaten. Better than an expensive steak, better than his favourite restaurant that only serves organic local foods…

A MEAL I MADE- AT HOME!

My heart was glad.

I obviously want you all to share in this mostly clean meal with us! (Mostly clean? I cannot speak for the canned enchilada sauce and call this clean. I also will not declare lots of cheese as clean)

I am no food photographer by any means, especially when hungry, but I present to you our Enchilada dinner…

Ingredients

• 1 large Chicken Breast, cooked and shredded (Vegetarian substitute: cooked and chopped sweet potatoes, quinoa or another type of bean)
• 1 cup black beans (I cooked my own, but a can of rinsed Black beans would work excellently)
• 1 cup cooked brown rice
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 Tbsp EVOO
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 127 ml can of  Green Chilies
• 1 (14 ounce) can Diced Tomatoes
• 1 can Enchilada Sauce
• 10-13 Small Whole wheat Tortillas
• 3/4 cup shredded Cheddar Cheese or Marble
• Sour Cream (Clean substitute: Greek or plain yogurt, or sour cream)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350ºF

1 Place minced garlic and chopped onions to a large pot on medium heat with the EVOO and stir often until soft.

2 Add the chilis + chopped tomatoes, continue cooking for a few minutes

3 Add the shredded chicken, beans and rice and ½ of the enchilada sauce

4 Place a couple spoonfuls of the mixture down the middle of the tortilla, sprinkle with a couple tbs of cheese and wrap.

5 Place the enchiladas seam-side-down in a baking dish (no need to fold in the ends)

6 Drizzle the remaining enchilada sauce over the enchiladas and top with the remaining cheese.

7  Bake for about 20 minutes. Serve topped with sour cream (or substitute sour cream for plain yogurt or cottage cheese)

Feeds: I served us each 2 enchiladas + plus a colossal salad. I could barely finish mine and  Husband went back for more even though he said he was not really hungry (Oh the perks of a fast metabolism!). We ended up with plenty of left overs. This would feed 5 people amply.

Prep time:30 minutes for me* + 20 minutes cook time.                                                             * Prep time will be significantly longer (1.5 hours total) if you are cooking the beans and rice from scratch. Enchiladas are quite a labor intensive meal, but you can cut cooking time down by cooking the brown rice/ chicken/ beans on the stove at the same time.

Hope ya’ll enjoy this as much as husband and I did

**********************************************************************************

This meal was a breeze for me because of my cooking style (pre-cooking*). I used cooked brown rice I have in the freezer (leftovers would work fabulously also!) along with the black beans I cooked in mass yesterday morning.

*Pre-cooking: Cooking large quantities of everything(brown rice, beans, ground beef for husband, bacon for husband, chicken…) and storing in smaller portions in the freezer.  It makes cooking throughout the week so quick and easy, saves money on hydro/ electricity, and is gentle on the grocery budget because we buy in bulk/ sale/ season.

 

Maternity photos

I did maternity photos this past weekend and LOVED capturing Caitlin and Ben and Baby. Last summer I did Caitlin’s sisters wedding. SUCH a beautiful family!

More to come. <3

Portrait Session

How beautiful are these freckles?

Seasons to be thankful for.

Here is a recap of the last two months.

1. No internet = no email, blogging, time wasting. We got internet back in time for…

2. We finished the renovations on the house, and put it up for sale. Which means DAILY showings, and quick (and clever) cleaning at 6:30 am before leaving for work. We pray it sells quickly.

3. oh yeah- I started ‘work’. ie my unpaid internship that is 1 hour (or two hours if I work regular 8-4 hours) commute away.

4. This past week we have been grieving the loss of two loved ones who passed from this life into the next. TWO. In one week. I spent 3/5 days at funerals, visitations, burials. My heart is tired. And I miss these beautiful, vibrant, joyful, godly women already.

5. In between the stress of this last week, Dan and I got sick. We battled exhausted, colds and headaches for three days. Sleep has been in want to say the least.

6. I have begun to reap the fruit of the prayer “Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours” . I truly caution all who pray this prayer. The world is broken, lost, wounded, confused, in devastation. I think I will replace this with “Lord, show me how to love like you love me” for the next year or so.

7. Next week my sister is getting married in NewYork…. remember? I am her MOH- which I do NOT deserve the honor of. I leave Thursday morning at 6am.

Praise God for sustaining us over the last few weeks. Praise God for His ever present love, hope and peace. Praise God for moments of laughter and joy amidst the trail of this season.

I have struggled to find moments of quiet and calm over the last few weeks, times where I can be alone with God. The rare times when I have found a few minutes to sit, I have found it incredibly difficult to just ‘BE’.  This has lead to a profound sense of discontentment. I long for quiet moments through the day alone with God. I desire to start the day with sunrise,quiet, Bible, coffee and Jesus. This time in the Word and in prayer refocused me, and brings me back into alignment. The last few weeks I have found the discipline of beginning my day in the Word to be hard, and my outlook and energy has reflected that. I feel unrooted, dry, parched.

Do you know this season?

It makes me very thankful for the times when my cup was full and running over. And very thankful for God Almighty, who sustains, upholds, renews, and strengthens. His grace is sufficient you know? His power is made perfect in weakness.

“I fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Cor 4:18)

That is where I place my hope for now. On that which is unseen. “Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31 

 

 

Honeymoon Continued…

I must confess…this ‘schedule’ thing is… well…difficult. 6 am was not happening this morning. But 8:30 was.

Lets get back to the honeymoon- shall we? Actually, lets take a time machine back to the actual thing. I would WAY rather be back in Michigan, on the water with husband.

Anyways, Michigan recently had a baby boom…

of these cuties. This was the momma by our estimation. And the SIX fawn she carted around were everywhere around the lakehouse. We had to drive half the speed limit because we would turn a down a winding road and BOOM! Another baby standing there!

We spent a lot of time taking photos, and trying to scare them deeper into the woods.

Were looked through antique shops- where I scored a FABULOUS lamp I am giving new life. The antique shops in the town were creeeepy to say the least. The shops were in building that had to have been condemned and they had large posters in the windows warning “enter at own risk”. Sadly, it was owned by people who thought all of the stuff was incredible, and the prices reflected that. 1800$ antique clocks?! I dont think so. It was also the type of shop that did not have prices on the items- you had to ask. I HATE that. Usually I won’t shop in stores like that. Since the town was fairly ghost, and we did not have a lot of options though- so we bartered. And I stayed very close to husband.

That afternoon we went back to the beach to kayak for a couple hours. We also attempted to use the wind surf board. And after finally figuring out how to both stay on it at the same time, we played “can you do THIS!?!” Which was a game boys are very good at- challenging each other to do stupid things by demonstrating it first… then laughing as your partner attempts this death defying trick.

Obviously I was the one who ended up wounded. He knew I was dorky and clumsy when he married me!

On friday, we pulled out a map and decided we would drive more north to Glen Arbour, which was beautifullll. Everyone in Michigan knows how wonderful it is- and due to that beauty, there was no hotel available within miles. So we planned to drive up and just walk around for the afternoon.

That was until we passed a lazy river tube ride…

I insisted. Dan complied. And three hours later we were back in the car, on the same spot on the map. It was a lot of fun, and refreshing. However! … we didn’t bring sunscreen. The lakehouse had some… and we totally forgot ours. Husband knows better than to let me outside longer than 5 minutes without SPF 170 (dork alert)… So he asked a nice family if we could borrow some, and I covered- quickly and sloppily. Have you ever applied sunscreen in front of strangers? …. It is USELESS! I missed a spot near my arm pit… a little spot in the keyhole of my top, a bit on my hip. And then I did the dreaded “SWIPE
 on my thighs….BIG MISTAKE. BIG. Husband said he could see me getting burnt. I ended up with a super strange tribal tattoo effect on my legs. And since my legs havent seen the sun since I was about 11, they got fried.

Anways… we were back in the car… on our way to Glen Arbour, where we walked through cute little shops, bought a coffee mug (which we collect to mark new places we have been together), had some icecream, and learned how to be a good wife…

This book boasted some good tips. Like “when your husband gets home from work, he is tired- and doesn’t need to hear about the little stresses of YOUR day. Although you have dishes to be done and a kitchen to clean, make yourself available for conversation. However, do not talk too much, be too witty, or have too strong of opinions… allow your husband to be the expert in every topic”

Dan thought it was rubbish and wouldn’t even look at the book. He was more interested in the awesome log cabin in which the bookstore was located. I love his admiration of good craftsmanship. He has an incredible eye for great buildings, and difficult architecture. He inquired about the history to the lady running the book shop and then we headed back out to walk some more.

We eventually decided we were satisfied with what we had seen in Glen Arbour, and went back to the car where we picked Traverse City as our next destination point and hoped to find a hotel when we arrived.

We snacked on leftover caramel corn from the wedding. Cheese, Mary’s crackers, fruit and “turkey sliders” I made on the spot for Dan.

LOVED that drive.

We pulled into Traverse City around 6, dropped into a couple hotels – $500 a night kinda rooms were all that was left. Praise God we  finally found something in our price range- the last room the hotel had left. We checked in, and headed right out for aloe gel and dinner. Traverse City was my favourite city BY FAR. It happened to be the weekend of the film festival, and the city was showing The Dark Knight on a jumbo screen by the water for free. Such EXCITEMENT. After dinner we rode our bikes down to the water and watched for a bit. After that we just rode the paved trails along the water in the moon light.

We planned to head out early the next morning, but on our midnight bike ride I saw a kitchy little shop I wanted to stop in on. This adventure ended up being a half day event, and we shopped ALL the adorable little shops and then stopped in at a mexican restaurant for lunch (which was the ONLY thing I asked for out of the honeymoon, I love mexican food)

After lunch we walked back to the car to get our bikes. And I feel in love with Traverse City  even more. It was SO beautiful, and so well taken care of.

Look at that grass!

The women at the front desk of the hotel suggested we visited the Asylum built in 1885, which was shut down in 1989. The buildings were left vacant and were left to fall apart. Over the past few years, developers have begun to transform the grounds and the buildings into a commercial and residential property. We looked through the little shops inside, had iced coffee and then biked around the many buildings.

The history of the Hospital was fascinating. And their methods of therapy were in line with all things Holistic- loved it.

Many of the buldings still look like this…

way cool eh?

Okay… I think thats all for today. Reminising this makes me miss my Husband. Who went off to work to “make the bacon” as he told me this morning at 6 when he left. I think I will go home to make him a carrot cake. Or cut the grass… or something.

Make today beautiful friends!